Author: Sarah Collins

My heart beats, thumping to its beat. The rhythm pumps through my veins like a song. The lyrics flow into my head, creating an illusion. But no one hears me. I’m screaming. My mouth opens while jumbled words escape. Where is my song? Where is my beat? The answer lies within my lyrics.

People do not see the woman beneath the elaborate facade. They see the dresses as the woman. The hair makes her personality. The world sees what they want. It’s easy for her to be nothing more than a face. The world tells her she’s one thing. Her brain tells her she’s another. Sometimes all the voices join together, making things twisted. It’s easy to lose a child in the crowd. It’s easy to become what others say. The hard part is drowning those voices out so only one remains.

I see the woman beneath the mask. I hear her voice. I see her in the crowd. And she isn’t going anywhere.

The sky is starry and majestic.
Anything is possible here,
For the moon and the stars are poetic.
Everything is now so clear.
Things aren’t black or white here.
I haven’t faltered or failed.
I’ve transformed throughout this year.
Here my true self has prevailed.

My mind is jailed.
My body is shackled.
Why must I stay here?
Why must I be silenced?
I am not free to roam like before.
Freedom means truth.
Honesty comes at a price.
One many cannot afford to pay.
But I cannot give away my freedom,
No matter the penance.

Father time carries his clock, ticking it down. So, finally, here comes the new year leaving behind the old. It’s time to start over, redo, and forget the wrongs of our pasts. But our wrongs never leave us, no matter the year. Simply forgetting about them dooms us to repeat them. Instead, it’s time to forgive ourselves and say we can do better today, tomorrow, and next year.

She once wanted to be invisible and fade away without being known. To be invisible means disappearing into a crowd while faces blur together, creating nothing distinctive. If people couldn’t see her, they couldn’t see the scars hiding underneath.

Being invisible meant people wouldn’t expect anything. There can’t be a failure in invisibility. So she tried for years to fade away. She’d wear neutral clothes hoping to be unrecognizable. But someone always saw her, whether she wanted to be or not. It was frustrating for her to live in a world without a choice. So, she came to a crossroads where she could push herself down, wiping away her distinctiveness, or be the person she always was.

What she learned was that people are not invisible. It’s impossible. Because once someone is created, they leave a mark somewhere on someone. That cannot be destroyed. People’s legacies are forever.

So, with time, she accepted who she was and unveiled herself. And one day, wearing a bright-colored shirt wasn’t so scary. She even wears fancy gowns. It’s okay to be seen and noticed. Just ask the once-aspiring invisible girl. I would know.

Through the glass, she looks to see a world she once knew. Things are different now. It isn’t the same. What once was grey has found its color. Through the glass, she sees the light. The darkness has dissipated. What once was hopeless is possible.

The sun touches my skin, bringing me home. The heavens have opened, singing sweet songs. Yet, the deafening silence leaves me empty. Why have you gone, leaving me here to suffer alone? Why did you leave me behind? I’ll never know why. But, I guess I have the sun and the sky to keep me company. Maybe one day you’ll return.

The sun breathes light into the rippled water—reflections of past swirl beneath, creating whirlpools. While the wind whirls, mixing the future and the present. Here there’s history, a past, that no one knows. Secrets and time are kept between the sun and the water. But sometimes, in moments like this, I hear the past reminding me not to forget the reflection I once saw. But by sunset, the reflections disappear. There are no more ripples or swirls.

Instead, there’s darkness. It’s inevitable when we forget who we are or what we were. But tomorrow, the sun will reappear, and I’ll try again. I’ll try to remember who she once was and her dreams. Maybe then the sun will never leave.

Little boys grow up encouraged to play on sports teams. Basketball, football, baseball, or what have you. For the team to win, they must work together. Cooperation means success. Brotherhood is forever.

Opposingly, one of the main concepts taught to little girls is the idea that other girls mean competition. Girls compete with each other to be seen, heard, or sometimes acknowledged. Comradery is a big no in the girl world. Why? I have no idea. It’s wrong, but it’s real.

Society teaches young girls that they need to be powerful to be something. But power means someone else doesn’t have any. So, when another girl is considered threatening to their resources, the metaphorical claws appear. This is when it becomes normal for girls to put others down to cover any insecurities. Hence they become powerful by taking away from another.

But this competitive mindset and comparative outlooks are just unhealthy and extremely negative. You are beautiful in your own way. Anyone worth having in your life will see that and understand you. Saying another woman is less than you doesn’t decrease her worth. It only gives YOU a false sense of security. It’s not other women who are the competition. The competition is within yourself and thinking you’re not good enough to stand beside another person who shines.