I have this broken doll at the bottom of my drawer. She remains hidden from the outside world. Her limbs are twisted, and her hair knotted. Her white legs are covered in stains. A once pristine porcelain doll is now busted and shattered. Although she is battered and bruised from the years, I keep her. A thing that was once so beautiful doesn’t deserve to be thrown away with the trash. If anything, she deserves her own glass enclosure, preserving her beauty that won’t let her decay further. But I’m afraid my friends that life doesn’t work that way. Time doesn’t work that way. Because with time comes aging and the loss of beauty. Sometimes we become broken or hideous to those around us. But only after we lose our beauty do we truly see the characters hiding underneath our exterior. Only once we shed these facades will we see our real strength. Because without that safety net, all we have is ourselves.
This Feeling
There is this feeling
I cannot hide
It is a feeling
That I’ve harbored inside
For quite some time
It’s red and daunting
And out of control
How it came to be
I already know
For the fury, I feel
Became my coping mechanism
To deal with life’s unknowns
But now I must rid this feeling,
So, I’ll surrender
And let the feelings wash over me
And accept I cannot control
The world unknown
For this feeling is not who I am
Because now, I know it only hides
And distorts
Who I truly am inside
A Saturday Afternoon
On a Saturday afternoon, I sit silently in my bedroom on the soft white carpet. I wiggle my toes between the fibers as I listen carefully to the rain as it lightly pings on my roof. I slowly begin to gaze out my bay window down at the beauty that surrounds me. The vibrant forest and the sounds of the rain ease my mind as I watch the rainwater flow down the street. And I can’t help but feel at peace, at peace with myself and with the world. The sounds surrounding me aren’t filled with worry or fear. Instead, they possess a sign of extraordinary courage, courage so powerful, so great. Because the thunder never seems to mind who it disturbs. Instead, the thunder bangs and roars at whatever volume it deems necessary, no matter the cost to those affected. I envy that kind of freedom; to move about life being whatever one wants and not worrying about the social ramifications.
As my mind wanders, I stare into the distance at the tall daunting trees in the distance. They are filled with a quiet restlessness. I can hear them whisper in the wind, calling out to me. Their vibrant leaves hold the secrets of the past that will one day be told to the next generation. How will these secrets be revealed, you ask? Through their sounds, because if you listen carefully to the rustling of the leaves, they bare all the secrets one could ever hope to learn. The key is to listen, truly listen to the things that surround us, instead of filling our minds with clutter. Perhaps only then will we find the peace we so desperately search for in this world.
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